Earlier today, I posted an open letter to former team members of The Neocom in our Discord Channel. I felt it necessary to post it publicly as a way to convey to our readers and listeners why we suddenly went off grid. It’s rough, unedited, and there will be errors.
So, I have a confession to make on a personal level. It’s going to be a little drawn out so I apologize in advance.
I’ve never really been much of an Open Door spotlighting my own personal life and I’m not going to go into the backstory of that reason simply because it’s not relevant. But what I want to talk about is my personal situation over the last year-and-a-half. And I promise I’ll tie this up in a pretty bow at the end.
Eve Vegas 2015 was not just a Highpoint for the team, but also for me personally. A few months prior, I had just broken off an engagement and was forced to send my kids back up to their mother in Alaska. The game, the community, and the team kind of became my sorority family at that point. Things were happening quickly and I found myself happy and focused on something positive. I won’t lie that much of it had to do with having somebody like Kira.
Vegas what’s the time of my life. Not only because I found myself coming out of my shell again, but I had her as a support and a source of joy. I think it showed.
Two months after a Vegas, Kiea decided to step away and focus on her real life. I’m not faulting her for it, but that was another sudden loss to hit me that I didn’t expect and if some of you remember, I didn’t quite know how to recover. Honestly today I still don’t. So the count so far is losing a fiance, My Two children, and my best friend.
So I grind on and I guess part of me assumed that digging myself more into the project would somehow fill a void. We launched some pretty cool projects and got to collaborate with some awesome people like Zendane, Ellie, and Manic.
In the middle of all this, I received some phone calls from my family members saying that they had news regarding my father who him and I have been estranged for some time now. It was something I thought I was over until I heard that he had suffered two strokes that I had not known about previously and voluntarily had his leg amputated in order to put an end to his chronic pain.
I went to visit him in Nashville but the visit wasn’t as productive as I would have hoped because of the presence of my former stepmother. Him and I never really got to build another Bridge and I haven’t heard from him since. My phone calls went unanswered and suddenly him and I are estranged again. To be quite honest I don’t even know if he’s still alive.
So let’s recap what we’ve got so far. Fiance, two children, best friend, and now my father again.
Exactly three days after dealing with my father, I found myself in the tough situation of having to try to moderate the drama that arose when two team members got into it in public. That while I won’t pretend to understand the reason why it happened all I know is that it eventually forced me to remove somebody from the team and put another on a type of suspension.
At this point I’m already Beyond angry and frustrated of how many people I seem to be losing. You can call it trite if you wish, but as somebody who spends his time and his life alone over the road, this was starting to considerably add up.
Next, my girlfriend at the time decides that she’s not going to stay with me and go support her mother and son back in Wisconsin. I’m not going to go into the details of that but I’m just adding it to the list.
And finally we have the straw that broke the camel’s back. In my view, Another former member’s behavior did irreparable damage to the morale of the team and I did what I had to do because of it. I make no excuses or apologies and I understand some of you had a problem with it but didn’t voice it to me at the time. Which I will respect, I’m not going to drag it out of anybody because I don’t want to relive it again. The two parties have mended their fences and that’s fine.
However for what it did to me and the morale of the team, I still feel like I deserve an apology. So now we get to add another person to the long list of people that just suddenly decided that they weren’t going to be in my life anymore. If I was going to self-destruct, it was just better for all of you to move over to EveNT.
So, with that little bit of background behind us, I am coming up with something I think is more manageable and will be primarily a solo project. I don’t have the time or the patience to run a team and organize a Network. That’s no longer the goal.
I hope all of you have found new creative opportunities with Nashh. If there’s anybody who has the resources two help you all continue to Blossom, it’s his team over there. I haven’t heard from him or Tibs regarding player neocom content, so I’m going to try to talk to them about just keeping the permanent domain for myself. But like I said, this will be a solo project so no, I’m not looking to put the band back together. I just had to get some things off my chest so I guess it brought closure to everyone.
In that second episode of prototype, I mentioned that if anybody understood how much I had lost in the past year, this is what I’m referring to. It wasn’t that single incident in of itself. But in both of these situations where I have had to make those kind of decisions that cut resources from the team, I did not want or expect to deal with that kind of shit. Whether or not I handled it properly is going to be your individual opinions. I’ll just apologize 4 you guys having to take the brunt of it.
I’ll keep this Discord open just for the sake of having a platform for us. If you need anything, just let me know. Love you all.
You don’t realize you’re losing everything until it’s too late to do anything about it. #Broadcast4Reps